A Change of Pace

The Transformers Trilogy

So far i’ve been reviewing movies i love, but that’s not all that’s out there. There are many other popular films out there that i have gripes with. Now I’m not going to rail on it for betraying the source material (i never knew the original show),I’m here to make reviews on just the films.

Story: Giant robots are on Earth. They have the ability to transform into machines. These Transformers are split into 2 factions: the Autobots (good guys) and Decepticons (bad guys). Autobots fight for the humans and the Decepticons seek to rule. I don’t need to go into more detail for the entire trilogy, all 3 are spoken for in that description. The STORIES within each film are ok, that is to say the overarching plot is reasonable for giant space robots. However, the scripts are an abomination. They take an odd approach: Scenes of action between robots then attempted humor between all the humans while the robots aren’t fighting. It comes off a bit disjointed, but i can live with it, but wait, it gets worse. The human characters are extremely shallow and annoying, I’m still baffled as to why they get so much attention in a film about GIANT SPACE ROBOTS. The dialogue is cheesy at best and very uninteresting jokes. So about half the movie is scrap, but at least we still have robots and action right?…..RIGHT??

Visual: There was SO MUCH potential in this movie for excellent visual, but it’s all lost. The robots look very nice, better the makers design their own fashion of robot instead of just recreating the toys and cartoons with CGI. So the art design is very good, but the direction and action coordination is slipshod at best. Watching the fights are really disappointing, most of the time you can’t tell what you’re looking at. The transformers are so badly framed and move in and out of shots so quickly that all that is certain is that a transformer did indeed run by the camera. There is also a great deal of chaos that obscures them, between the explosions and rubble, the transformers sometimes get lost in the shot. The final stake in the heart is again the humans. Most actions sequences are focused on the human characters running about so you get to see the transformers duking it out while the camera is forcing you to watch the teenagers duck around. I don’t know about you but when I paid for transformers i want to see giant robots fighting!!

Acting: >.< it’s a stretch to call anything in this film ACTING. It helps that many of the cast could act their way out of a bucket *Coughcoughmeganfoxcoughcough*. Shia Lebeouf leads in all 3 films. Now he’s not a bad actor, there are quite a few good actors in the films: John Turturro, John Malkovich, Alan Tudyk. The problem is that the roles that they play and the lines they have to deliver are bad, i mean they’re REALLY bad. sure it’s kinda amusing the first time, but they quickly degrade into annoyances (especially those who are in all 3 films). They never really came up with any new material it was always the same: Shia Labeouf in a new place and being awkward until the robots show up in the second half and take back their movie.

Audio: this is definitely the least offensive category, that doesn’t say it’s good, it’s just not bad. The sound effects work, and despite the large amounts of gunfire and explosions, the mix never gets overwhelming. The Score isn’t anything special, it greatly resembles a Hans Zimmer score, but i think at this point Zimmer has set the standard for blockbuster scoring. Not much else to say, like i said not great but not bad at all.

Overall:

  1. The first movie wasn’t bad, I enjoyed it, it was still new, the action was cool and there were some very nice moments. 3.5/5. Not terribly offensive, you can do far worse for a sci-fi action flick
  2. OH DEAR GOD GET IT AWAY!!! GET IT AWAY. Horrible, terrible action, terrible new characters. It was two-and-a-half of staring at Megan Fox as much as possible, i don’t get it at all. Steer clear, this movie is unrequited garbage
  3. Meh. better than the second one, but doesn’t take much. The new girl is a sight better than Megan Fox, but not by much. The highly praised “Chicago war” left a lot to be desired once i finally saw it. So i guess you could go see it, but why would you?

So readers: SOMEONE PITCH ME A MOVIE, let me know you guys are there :)

Thanks for reading and I’ll post again next week, have a good one!

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